VARIATIONS OF LOVE
Love, the way of experiencing it and expressing it to others has captivated a large number of researchers. They deduced from their work 2 main types of culture of love in the World:
-In North America, Australia, Northern Europe and Western Europe, cultures would be more individualistic and this would affect the couple, its functioning, its essentials.
The most important thing in these cultures would be mainly the sharing of affinities and the freedom to choose one’s partner. Love would also be a way to escape isolation and start your own family.
In North America
Americans believe a lot in romantic love and they generally take the time to settle on a partner. (from a few months to more than a year). Couples are also more demonstrative through sweet words, beautiful declarations and through touch.
One of the Scottish wedding traditions would be to cover the couple entirely with feathers, then with fish and finally with flour and even earth, then to take them through the entire village, to make them understand and feel what each other suffers, so that they will always support each other in the future. This tradition would say that this would protect them from certain spirits.
After the wedding ceremony, a huge log and a saw are brought to the couple and the bride and groom must saw the wooden log in two. It’s a very old tradition called: ‘Das Baumstamm Sägen’ They will demonstrate that they are and will always be able to overcome difficulties together, side by side.
A marital tradition says that when the bride leaves the table, all the women invited can have a kiss from the husband. When the groom leaves the table, also all the men can have a kiss from the bride. So they try to sit still! This would show the spouses that nothing should be taken for granted in the couple.
The bride and groom are wrapped in the same towel or sheet and must eat soup from the same bowl, with just one spoon, sometimes with their hands tied! This means to them that they must help each other, share and stay united.
A very old legend tells that a boy was walking one night and saw an old man reading a book. He asks the old man what he was reading. The old man replies that it is a marriage book and tells this boy that he was going to marry a girl, and points to her with his finger because she was passing in front of them at that time. The boy does not want to get married at all in the future and throws a stone at this girl and he runs away very quickly. Years later, his entourage organizes his arranged marriage with a young girl. But when he discovers his future wife, in addition to falling in love for the first time, he notices a very small scar on one of her eyebrows. He then asks her how she got this scar and his future wife then tells him that she had this scar because of a stone thrown at her by a boy a long time ago.
In the Phillippines
Love is expressed more through sharing a laugh together and listening to each other with great attention and concentration.
In China, the lovers’ festival called Qixi is July 7.
This festival is based on a Chinese legend which tells the impossible love story between a farmer and a fairy.
The farmer hides his fairy’s clothes to hold her back. He declares his love for her by giving them back to her and the fairy chooses to stay on earth with him.
They have perfect love until the goddess of the Heavens intervenes and transforms the lovers into stars in the Sky and separating them by the Milky Way.
The 7th night of the 7th month (i.e. July 7) is a very special day because magpies fly and form a bridge between the two lovers so that they can meet again and share that whole night together.
On July 7, during Qixi, many Chinese people like to admire the stars and young women offer offerings to the fairy who is considered a goddess of love.
Russians like to seduce with romantic dates, considerate gestures with marriage quickly as the objective.
In Russia, love was considered more of a fad that only existed in fairy tales.
A study indicates that Russians fall in love more quickly (less than a month) than Americans who take more time (between two months and a year) to settle into a romantic and exclusive relationship.
Valentine’s Day is celebrated in Russia but the most popular holiday would be the day of family, love and loyalty which takes place on July 8.
The family matters a lot to Russians and it is a cocoon, a space that they preserve, seeking to get along, avoiding conflicts and having a very strong relationship, particularly with their mother.
When a man has found his soul mate he can say this magnificent word: ‘Я однолюб’ which is pronounced in French ‘ia Odnoliub’ which means ‘I love’ as much as ‘I am one woman’s man’, or ‘I am faithful to this woman’ or this can be translated for a man who only knows one and only love in his life.
All over the world,
Francis Cabrel’s song reminds us
‘Love is everywhere you look In the smallest corners of space In the slightest dream where you linger’